I've considered myself as the luckiest Pianist in the world.
You probably has clicked here to expect where I have performed and what critics I've got, after all I seem like a typical Asian robotic Pianist, like the stereotype would describe. But no, I like to write text about every single experiences, so if I look back it would be the most interesting than any artistic facade.
Why am I the luckiest? I start to play the piano when I was 3 years old, not under force of my parents but because I played everything by hearing. Until 6 or 7 years old I couldn't read a single note but I could play simple etudes by Czerny. Until certain age, I finally got forced to read note, but playing pieces has always made me a big pleasure.
What extrem difficult for me as a child, was to build a stable technique, independency of fingers. I have struggled in a way no one could imagine, I had the softest hands, it was impossible to form and play everything evenly. Luckily, my mother - my first piano teacher, has made sure I sticked to this point, until I could have fast fingers under correct gesture.
After certain point, my mother thinks I had to try to enter the most difficult school in China - The Central Conservatory.(Which was 1600 Kilometers away.) I have seen how other children has a stronger technique, even faster fingers, but that was not everything, I was again lucky to meet my Professor in Beijing, who just returned from Hanns Eisler Music Conservatory Berlin, and gave me as a young child many ideas of sound. However, I showed what I could play, but not expecting her to ask me to side read. She told me she needs to listen the Humoreske of Bulgarian Composer Vladigerov in 2 weeks, I have studied very hard - as a young Chinese girl, I couldn't even pronounce the name of Vladigerov in Chinese. Somehow, I have managed, I can't forget this piece until today. She still found out that I was a very bad side reader, so she gave me the book of Couperin, "Pieces de Clavecin". I opened the book whose has copied over 10 times, I understand neither the french text or the notes. (Thank god I understand now both.) Everyday I tried to play one of it, until I could finally side read fluently - I hated everything about reading as a child! It was the magical book.
My Professor was on Vacation for 3 months. She sent me to an elder Professor who unfortunately passed away last year, she has build many great Chinese pianists. Over 3 months, she gave me all the french suites of Bach - Yes, she wanted me to play the whole suite by one lesson, not just notes, but understand characters of every Sarabande, Allemande etc. Now When I think about it, it has build a very pure style of Bach. Speaking of composer starts with B, she gave me the most nightmare piece of my Childhood - Bartok Sonatine, I understood nothing of it and I hated the piece more than anything, I didn't know where Hungary is as a 10-years-old girl and whats the meaning of Volkstanz. However, 15 years later, I realised what kind effect it has gave me.
Later on, I was again lucky being selected to study in Salzburg. Obviously as a 12-years old Teenager I said no to my parents, just to think I have to speak german. At first I didn't even know where Austria is - "There is no way I am going to somewhere without knowing where it is" I said with confident. I was the two candidates whose were chosen to go and I had only 3 months to learn german, and yet I truly intergraded there and had the happiest teenage time of my life. There I was again so lucky to build my ability to play classical sonatas, my wonderful teacher strictly asked every slur, every articulation, and the Mozart lightness in every sonatas aesthetics, which saved me a lot energy for later. Then, my biggest hobby is to take sonatas and side read them all, choose one I like and eventually play it for myself. It made me incredibly happy. This also happened to Chopin Etudes only I couldn't decide which one to practice, so I had to practice all.
At age of 15, under special circumstance I've met a Professor who asked me to play Ligeti Etude, which has starts my connection with modern music - maybe the childhood Bartok has helped a bit? I managed reading and memorise after those terrible 6 months. I never thought it was possible.
Moving to Hamburg at 16 years old has made me discover the other part of the world and less piano playing in the daily life. But again luckily, my Professor told me "Try to learn all the big concertos at young age, later you would be busy for life and surviving" which I am right now, but already have learned big concertos at young age can indeed save a lot of time in the future, and it enlarge my ideas of sounds, imaginations and some kind of unique way to express yourself.
My unexplainable love towards french music has developed in Corona time. The new professor arrived with finest and greatest aesthetic, that has freshened our boring souls who were stuck in Quarantine. With my very stable connections of German Austrian music style, was anyway impossible for me to find the correct style of French music. Maybe now I can't get anything right. However, I even managed to find an access, getting to know an epoch is like if you have conquered a new territory - this is my inner Don Quijote talking. After I had a crazy time of getting bunch of concerts done, then the forever artist and dreamer has finally also come to the reality - to be the breadwinner like everyone else.
I had to break up with music, the thing I put so much effort in - I don't know what I was doing anymore, survival was more like the key of everything, everybody is eventually the role player of the hunger game. Sometimes when I was truly lost, I was relived that I could play and understand all of that music, as some kind of comfort of the general difficulties. But again, somehow like with teachers, I have great students to pass on everything I know, nothing makes me happier to pass on everything I know, it provide some kind of energy and gratefulness, it made me feel very alive.
We are all very lucky, that this world's knowledge is infinity for us human being to discover. In my Bachelor time I would never imagine myself doing Operas and being Collaborative Pianist, I build my technique and definition as an Soloist - but who knows? My shallowness as a young girl shows that later on, Chamber music and Operas brought me back to the music I had to forget a cause the difficulty of reality life, that's the drift of being a curious human being, right?
Again, having all the fundamental that I can more developpe on details, phrasing and sounds, which is a never ending story. I am the luckiest, I am still in progress, like I will be always on the paths.
Written on 23 of January, 2024 Berlin
© Eric Thiebaut
©Andrea Merlo
© Valentine Martin-Duchêne
©Timur Gatov
© Yunzheng Hu